Ahh. Summertime.

My windshield is cracked. I can't breathe or smell out of my nose, which also means I can't really taste anything either. My medication makes me drowsy. No matter how hard I clean, my apartment will still be covered in tree pollen. I am running out of those precious horse-pills that allow me to sleep through most of the night. I have no health insurance. Gas is expensive and so are my pills. It's more like Ahh Choo, summertime.

Now that you are undoubtedly feeling sorry for me I would like to continue my rant on allergies in an effort to educate everyone on the life of this struggling outdoors-woman. Most of my siblings would agree that I seem to have an unending stream of good luck that travels with me wherever I go. And I would tend to agree with them although I believe open-mindedness has everything to do with it. Someone recently told me about a man that spent a year saying “yes” to everything. He ended up getting married, traveling around the world, trying a lot of different drugs and having some amazing experiences. Personally, I would probably limit myself to saying “yes” to things that are legal. I decided to put this experiment into practice by saying “yes” more instead of thinking or analyzing them too much and deciding not to do something.

I tend to think about things too much. For example, if someone invites me to do something my first thought is that they are only inviting me because Jay is gone and they feel sorry for me, not because they actually might enjoy my company. Then I worry about the event: who else will be there? What if I say something stupid? What if no one talks to me? What should I wear? What if I have an allergy attack? Will there be tissues around? Etc... Jay always encourages me to accept any and every invitation, and I do, and I always end up having a great time. So why do I still worry about all of those stupid things? I don't really have an answer for that, but the more I try new things, the more comfortable I am saying “yes” and not giving it a second thought.

Bozeman, Montana is an amazing place to be right now in my life because it is a huge adult playground. Hiking, boating, fishing, climbing, biking, camping and loads of winter sports are all just a 37 steps down from my apartment door. Plus, there is never a lack of people that want to do something outside. For people like me that have seasonal allergies, it isn't always easy saying “yes” to every activity. I have to factor in several things that most people wouldn't even think about just so I can be as comfortable as possible. What kinds of plants are growing in the area we are going to? Will my skin come in contact with those plants? How long will we be there? If we stay overnight, is there a place for me to rinse off all of the pollen and dust in my hair and on my skin before I go to sleep? How much tissue do I need to bring? Is it going to be enough? If my eyes or skin starts itching, do I have something with me that will help like cream or an anti-histamine? Will I be able to get away from whatever is making me sick? People that have never experienced seasonal allergies really don't get it. It is easy for them to forget or tell me that I'll be fine...I wish it was that easy for me.

Normally in the summertime I go through about one large box of Kleenex a week. That is somewhere around 150 tissues. This might sound like an exaggeration, it isn't. Sometimes, in order to conserve tissues, I will just sit with them up my nose blocking the constant flow of snot. I remember my mom laughing at me when I would resort to this technique growing up. There are lots of times when I would like to do this in public but I don't think it would be received as humorous. I have also developed a noticeably loud “honk” when I blow my nose. I have tried to blow my nose softly, but it just isn't as effective. I was in a coffee shop earlier this evening and got fed up sniffing the snot up so I blew them out. I was able to attract a few surprised looks, mostly because they can't believe that noise came out of that 20-something gal and not an old man. For the people that are still staring, I embarrassingly nod my head and raise my eyebrows at them acknowledging that, “yes, that was me, now you can stop staring”.

It is hot in Bozeman. I grew up in an air-conditioned house. My apartment is not air-conditioned. If I want to cool down I have to open up the windows letting in the dust and pollen. When I go to bed I have to think about getting that pollen and dust in my sheets. I won't be able to see it, but I know it's there because I spend all night sneezing. That means I will have to lay in it every single night until I wash them again. I wish I didn't have to think about things like whether or not I should open my windows. It is just a part of my life; right up there with having silk flowers at my wedding, peeling all fruits before I eat them, and showering as soon as possible after being outside. I developed a routine for myself in an attempt to reduce my allergic reactions, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

School is officially over tomorrow and the air is electric with the thunderstorms rolling through. I graduated from my WFR class without a hitch and now feel comfortable with my ability to help someone if we are not near a hospital. The class was challenging but we were able to practice all of the skills we learned on each other. In one simulation I had a bloody head wound and a dislocated shoulder. My rescuers did a good job bandaging me up. I had a hard time getting the fake blood off of my head because it has red food coloring in it and it dyed my skin.

I have been having a lot of fun outside lately. I've been to a couple of live music shows, hiking and soaking in the local hot springs. Because there weren't any subbing calls this week, I spent the time hanging out with some of my favorite kids, the special ed kids at the high school. Yesterday we went hiking up to the “M” and today we had a picnic at a park for their last day of school. These kids have really grown on me and I am hoping for a permanent opportunity to work with them next school year. This weekend I'm planning on going camping, hopefully I'll only need one box of kleenex.